The love of God is folly

It's a Pride Thing...

2012-01-21T07:57:00.003-06:00

I have a friend that we'll call Jen. Her name is really Jen, but she probably doesn't know she's my friend. She might say, "Oh, yes, I've met her twice", rather than actually professing our friendship. Anyway, she's a great communicator. She talks like me and gets mad about stuff and talks about it. She has kids, she loves Jesus, she easily proclaims faults in herself and does something about them.

Jen writes and speaks about removing the crap in her life so that she can see Jesus more clearly. I want to do that too. I live in a community with a lot of crap, and it's not crappy crap. It's fancy crap like cars and big houses and vacations. That kind of crap. So I find myself unable to find balance in all that because we don't have fancy crap. Ours is just regular.

I've been on this journey for several years. I want to make sure that the stuff that God has given us does not over-shadow God. That's the bottom line for me, so we live in this modest house, and live modestly and serve others and follow God, but something gross happened to me in all that. I have found myself clothed in this really terribly false humility. I began wearing my modest lifestyle like a badge of honor, like I'm suffering for the cause of Christ. I'm not. I have suffered to a degree. We've had some things taken away that I thought I needed to be happy. I survived that, I'm good. What is most concerning to me now is how I've gone to the extreme of letting go of material possessions and acted like it's suffering. Surrendering my crap, literally and figuratively should be an honor. It's what I'm called to do as a Believer, it's one way God changes me and makes me more like Christ. It's not suffering, it's called sanctification. If I am not holding on to this world, then I am more able to anticipate the next. So, here are some things I'm reading:

When Paul calls the power of Christ which changed him from great sinner to great apostle — when he calls this power "mercy," he exalts not himself but the Savior. The Christmas gift of change is always a gift, and never a wage. It can never be boasted in. It can be sought after the way a helpless, hungry man seeks food; and it can be accepted by faith. But it can never be earned. And so none of the changes God gives can be the basis of pride. The more like Christ you become, the more you exalt Christ and not yourself.

How and Why God Changes People

(www.DesiringGod.org)

Then, there's this jewel, the name is all you need: Are You Humble Enough to Be Care-Free?

So, that's my business. Your comments are welcome here.

Oh, and try this: www.jenhatmaker.com.

Great Ideas for 2011

2011-01-07T13:44:00.002-06:00

The good news is, I'm still alive. There is no bad news. After Christmas Day, every year, I get ants in my pants to clean out the house, or maybe pack it up like we're moving. "Stage it" - if you will. I get overwhelmed with the amount of stuff sitting around. I love Santa as much as the next guy (not John Piper, he doesn't love Santa), but too many Santas makes me crazy. Anyway, we decided that after The Big Clean Out of 2010, we would totally begin 2011 focusing on God. What God wants, what God asks of us. That's it. Nothing tricky, just that. If you are a Believer, you know it's not that simple, but it's what all of us are called to, not just me and my house. So, here's to 2011, may the Harris Family seek God with our mind, heart, soul and strength and love our neighbors as we do ourselves.
Next, on a different note, here are some Good Ideas for 2011, for me:
1. I want to live like everyday's my last. When I die, I want people to be heart-broken. I want them to say, "Man, she loved the heck out of Jesus and she made me love Him too!".
2. I want to run like crazy. I want to run outside and feel good and smile while I run. I do that, I smile like a crazy person. I know the people in the cars that pass me must think I'm nuts. I love running.
3. I want to have the energy to love my neigbors like I love myself. I want to be able to encourage people in tangible, practical ways that make them have hope and love who God made them to be. That includes my kids. I want my kids to know beyond a shadow of doubt that I loved them deeply and that I wanted them to love, love Jesus more than anything in life (maybe that should be point #4. Anyway.)
4. I want to encourage my husband to be EXACTLY who God created him to be. I am so stinkin' disappointed that I have wasted 20 years not doing that. I think my job the last 20 years has been to be a thorn in side. I've been a thorn of various sizes, but never a salve (ooohhh, salve...) mostly a thorn. I stink.
Tell me your Good Ideas for 2011.

2010-04-09T16:19:00.003-05:00

Well, Spring is upon us and I am so grateful for it, since we had a real Winter here this year (which is unusual). We recently took down the old rotting fence that our dog kept dismembering (the tiny dog could dismember the fence, that means it was in BAD shape) and replaced it with a cool little one that looks like it'd be on a farm. I really like it, I can see the beautiful land behind us. It makes the backyard look so much better.
As I drove to a meeting today, I saw two things that bothered me. Unfortunately, they are two different items, so they require two stories, but here's the observance:
1. I drive past a cemetary regularly, I often see caskets and funerals and the tent being made ready for the mourners. I remember the funerals of loved ones that I've attended and how it feels under that tent, with strangers and family that shared life with my loved one. Today, though, I saw the giant metal thing that the casket goes inside of. It was hanging by the small crane glistening in the sun and I thought about how much my Memaw paid for the giant thing that my PawPaw's casket went inside of and I thought, "I wonder why?" Why do we need the giant box for the box? Will there eventually be multiple boxes in graduated sizes, like Russian stacking dolls that will protect our loved ones for eternity? Or so we think. Is the giant box for the box really for us? Does it make us think that our person is really just there for safe keeping? You tell me...
2. On a MUCH lighter note...When I drive by the cemetary, I often see the fattish guy driving the recumbent bike. How many of you have seen him? He's the one recumbing, with a hugantic american flag flailing from the back of his bike. He's something else. I pass him occasionaly when I run and I've noticed that he's also picking up trash while he rides. The question here is: Are you REALLY getting a good workout on the recumbent bike, while you pick up trash? You tell me...

Good Housekeeping

2009-07-20T19:24:00.002-05:00

I usually clean house and wash on Mondays. Today I tried doing that alongside my 7 year old. Just so you know, 7 year olds don't understand that you don't stand where you just mopped. Don't even try to explain it to 'em; it won't work.

Blog Failure

2009-07-18T20:14:00.004-05:00

If you are a huge fan of The Love of God is Folly, you'll notice that I haven't blogged in a while. Seems like everything that came into my head would manage to hurt someone's feelings if it came out on the world wide web of blogs. That said, you can tell that I'm not perfect and I've never claimed to be. I try really hard to live by the righteousness extended to me by God thru Jesus. That's it. I'm gonna fail. I'm gonna talk about it.

So, I've experienced massive blog failure because I can't manage to figure out how to word stuff in a constructive way. That's it, yeah, constructive.

Here's what's gone on: School got out. My kids, husband & I are all home together. Surprisingly enough, it has gone well, except my youngest kid thinks it's still free for all with her dad. He kicks her out of the office when he must.
My oldest kid managed to make it through church camp. He had a good time.
I figured out that all the desires that I have in life may never be realized and that's really good. I see the proof in Romans 8:22-25, clearly and beautifully. These scriptures put my life into focus. Yay for me and God.
I have gotten to see my friends almost every week. That is so good.
My youngest is challenging me in many areas. Teaching her how to live in this world is difficult. The good news is that she is much like I was as a child and if I'll stop being so stinkin' frustrated with her, I can see how to speak to her and help her understand the good way to behave and why. "You don't want to be a pest, right?" "You need to not be funny now."
This man I am married to loves his job. It is the greatest, coolest gift that God's given us in a long time. Dangit!
We have no health insurance. Thank God Tim has VA coverage for his stuff. I know it'll all work out. I'm not worried much.
We enjoyed several days with my family. Good time, I didn't even cry once. That does not mean everything that goes on there is great, it just means that I managed myself fairly well on site.
I want very much to return to school. still. That probably won't happen in the fall. I'm okay with that.
I'm still pretty bad at my job. This is a prime example of what happens when folks like me try to do stuff they really aren't interested in. It's ridiculous, I get paid whether I work or not. Where did that job come from?
That's all for now. I hope to be more consistent in the future, but I'll make no promises. I'll just have hope (see Romans 8:22-25)

Little Thief!

2009-06-07T09:30:00.002-05:00

This week my oldest kid had two friends over after school. One of the boys had never visited before. I've been leary of this kid for a while, just knowing what my own kid has said about him over the years. I know that this kid is the youngest of a fairly large family that is very busy and fairly well-off. These are not unusual traits in our community, but this kid has just appeared insecure and needy since he was young.
As the boys edited their video on my PC, I noticed the new kid messing around with stuff on my desk, so I walked into the back where they were and asked if they needed anything. They all said no. After the kids left, I noticed that my Nike+ chip was missing. I always kept it in the box and had moved it around on my desk earlier in the day. The new boy was the culprit. I immediately felt so weird, that something in my home had been taken right under my nose! The other kid didn't take it. He wasn't around my desk. I thought about a lady I know who had tons of stuff stolen from her house. The thieves broke in, in broad daylight. It was crazy. It took me a few minutes to know what to say to my oldest. I asked if he's seen the chip, he said no and I explained why I felt like the new kid took it. He offered to ask the kid the next day at school. I said no, don't ask and made him pinky promise not to ask or talk about it to anyone at school, ever. We promised and I started praying about how to respond in my heart about this. I was mad. I also knew that I'd see his parents in a few days at 5th grade graduation. After all, his mom had just been awarded the PTA Life-Time Achievement Award, I knew she'd be there. Here's where I landed, I explained to my oldest that this is a perfect example of why we need Jesus, that we all sin, all the time and Jesus forgives us when we ask. I need to extend the same kind of grace to this kid, because I sin. Of course, my kid wanted to know how I sin. Once we got through that discussion, he acknowledged that he understood. It was time to move on.
This morning during coffee, Tim told me that he had a hard time sitting behind the parents of the new kid, knowing what their kid had done. I told him I'd been thinking about it a lot over the last few days, and that I've prayed for that kid every day since and I thought this: God made this weird deal happen because He knew that I would pray for that new kid. It is possible that I am the only person on the face of the planet praying for that kid.
How many other times have I been wronged and not chosen the path of Grace? I am grateful that I was reminded of that gift in this situation.
What's your strategy when you are wronged? How do you make sense of it?

Let Us Observe

2009-05-10T18:41:00.003-05:00

Today we remember The Great Mother's Day Fire of 1989. On that great day, the man I would marry 1 year and 7 months later, burned an entire block of apartments down. Roughly 12 people (or families) lost EVERYTHING THEY OWNED.
This fire was preventable, unfortunately. Tim was out at "the lake" with his buddies, maybe he was sober, maybe not, but what happened that evening, sobered him up fast. This night happened also to be the season finale to 21 Jump Street and, of course, he was distracted when he started frying fish. Before you know it, the grease is burning, he picks up the pan with his bare hands, runs toward the patio doors, catches the Apartment Curtains on fire and the rest is history.
Here's what was left:
What Tim was wearing, blue striped muscle shirt, Daisy Duke shorts.
2 Rattler Yearbooks
1 TKE flask
3 or 4 fraternity pics from college.
Legend has it that Tim didn't talk for about 5 0r 6 days after this great incident.
Tim and I had not met yet, but when we did, 10 months later, I was absolutely astounded to learn who he was.
Here are a few FAQs about Mother's Day 1989:
1. Did you try to warn the other tenants?
Yes, by running to each door and around the courtyard screaming like a girl.
2. Did you call 911?
Yes, but they didn't answer. Really.
3. Did you try to throw the burning pan out of the patio door?
Yes, but the doors were closed. That's how the Apartment Curtains caught fire.
4. Was your apartment well-furnished?
Yes, thanks for asking, it was beautifully stocked full of new furniture, TV, and stereo equipment freshly charged to the Sears card one week earlier.
5. What was the reaction of the utilities office when you called to have your electricity turned off?
Well, she put her hand over the phone and told her office "I'm talking to the guy that burned all those apartments down!"
Let us take a few minutes to remember this day and yes, I do have a fire extinguisher under the stove.

Feeling Good

2009-05-07T19:09:00.002-05:00

I was raised to believe that a girl got married and lived happily ever beat down. It was never specifically said, but the implication was there. No other options. I get so stinkin' mad every time I think about all the opportunities that God put in front of me for college, and I didn't take them. As I've grown up and realized that I have a massive amount of potential, it has been hard for me to reconcile the honor I have of raising my kids and what I might be missing out on outside my home. That is crazy and selfish and maybe Nancy Leigh DeMoss will show up at my door to do an intervention; but I've got to admit, I feel a TON better about all of it when I've got something cool to work on outside my responsibilities here. I am so, so grateful for everything and every person in my life, but it's okay for me to desire more.
Thanks, God for helping me learn that You've created me with passions that don't necessarily fall inside these walls.
What's your passion? Are you able to live it out now or does it look like it might be farther down the road for you to grab?

Run Grateful

2009-04-28T13:10:00.002-05:00

Running is therapy for me. I run a few days a week. I trained for a half marathon last year, but got a job and needed to do that instead of run for 2 hours at a time. So, here I am, building up distance slowly and visiting with God on the way. I listen to my ipod sometimes and have some playlists made that have names like, "Run Dance" and "Run Cool". These titles are supposed to give me a hint about what type of music is within the playlist. Today I had a title for my run, "Run Grateful". I spent a lot of time telling God how much I appreciate different parts of my life. They aren't all good parts, but they are there and I know He'll redeem them, or teach me how to live with 'em. Here are a few things I'm grateful for:
The ability to run. I enjoy it so much, even though I sometimes feel like poop afterwards, I love it.
My family. I am grateful that Tim says "I love you" about 4 or 5 times a day. My kids, and that they have the ability to learn and function well, that they are healthy and funny. Despite the complications that have arisen in my relationship with my mom, I'm grateful for the way my parents raised me.
The cross, and the simplicity of it. I am grateful that the cross is the treasure, nothing more. That despite what my heart or brain might be telling me, the cross has made survival and hope possible.
The army. Several years ago, we thought the army was the worst idea Tim Harris ever had. This many years down the road, we know that him joining was one of the greatest; that decision gives him medical coverage now that would never exist if he hadn't joined the army.
There was more, but that's what I remember right now.
What are you grateful for? Even though a situation might be tough, be grateful for the outcome, even if you cannot see it. Jesus' hardest situation became our greatest.
"I will praise the LORD, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me." Psalm 16:7

What the Heck??!!!

2009-04-15T14:54:00.004-05:00

A couple of weeks ago my biggest kid stormed into the house after school and said, as intently as possible, "We CANNOT carpool with the Smiffs any more!" The youngest kid came in and said, "Yeah, the dad said crap and &#$@." I kind of wanted to laugh because my kid cussed and didn't even know it, but then, my "What the...?" brain kicked in and I asked them what happened. Evidently this was not a new thing. The father Smiff has picked the kids up before and there had been some trouble then, but this day it really hit the fan.

It was raining a bit, with some thunder and lightning thrown in and when father Smiff pulled up for the kids, the VP (vice principal) wouldn't let the kids run 10 feet from the protective aluminum awning to father Smiff's car (the lightning situation made it too dangerous). The father grew more and more agitated as moments passed, then sprang from his car yelling at the VP and pointing his finger. At that point the kids were released into his custody, where upon they got to hear exactly what he thought about our VP. All the way home. My biggest kid was stressed out and my youngest was a bit oblivious, thank heavens.

Tim and I told the kids we'd figure it out and prayerfully consider how to move forward. The biggest kid wanted justice, the youngest wanted a snack. Anyway, I emailed the mom right away and told her that we'd be picking the kids up the rest of the week, just to buy some time. Then I carried on with the afternoon and prayed my brains out about how to handle this!? I was going to be the one doing the talking. Tim had never spoken to the dad before and the mom and I handled all the carpooling business, so the responsibility fell on me. As I prayed, I felt a really cool strategy emerge, so I picked up the phone and after the small talk, it went like this:

Me: June, did Ward tell you what happened at pickup today?

June: Yes, he mentioned that to me. I needed him to get the kids and he didn't really want to do it since he had some trouble up there before. The VP made him get out of the way when he was there last and it upset him. He feels really bad and thought he should come talk to you guys. He just didn't understand why the VP wouldn't let the kids walk that short distance to the car.

Me: Yes, well, Nik was pretty upset.

June: Oh, Ward never meant to upset the kids. I am so sorry about this. I told him that I wouldn't ask him to go pick them up again.

Me: You know what, June? I am so happy any day to go pick the kids up. I'd love to take that stress of Ward and offer to get the kids anytime you need me to. Our schedule will allow us to do that, so let us take that pressure off of him.

June: Oh, thank you and I am so sorry about this. We don't want your kids to be afraid to be around us.

Me: June, this just gave us a good opportunity to talk to the kids about grace. It just reinterates our need for Jesus and forgiveness. We all make mistakes and I am so happy Jesus takes that from us.

June: Yes, well...again, I'm sorry.

So, we ended well. Tim came straight into the room and called me A Master since I managed that so soundly; however, I gave instant props to God since He was the Great Revealer of my strategy. I dreaded that call, I really did, but I knew I had to make it and it gave me a chance to explain to my kids and our fine, upstanding Mormon neighbors (The Smiffs), what we believe.

Got a similar story? Tell us how you managed to face an uncomfortable situation head-on and how taking the high road worked for ya.

When God isn't enough

2009-03-20T10:05:00.005-05:00

Lately my heart has been heavy. I recently learned of another person that's chosen to abandon the narrow road. That makes two folks in two weeks that have come to my attention. I know it's happening every moment all over the world, as humans go their own way. For some people, I don't think this is a conscious decision, for others, they have a moment in time, where they say, "This God thing is not working. I'm going my own way."

I tried that a couple of times. I was very intentional about saying to God, "You are not doing what I want, or giving me what I need. I'm done with You." What I've discovered is that I'm in too deep. I cannot just turn my back on God; he's part of who I am. My road twists and turns, but so far, I've managed to return to what I know is true and right. Regardless of what my feelings may tell me, God is Enough.

Have you seen this? How does it happen? Is the foundation that these people rest upon not secure enough? I'm mad at the world for looking better to us than God does. I'm mad that we think what's shiniest is coolest.

What is our obligation when we see others wander away? I'd like to know your thoughts on this...

Story Side B

2009-03-14T16:11:00.004-05:00

Those of you that know me, know that I cannot get enough of the TV Evangelist. On weekend nights, Tim and I surf around the TV looking at TBN, JCTV, Daystar, all the greats. Last night we ran across a band on The Logan Show called Story Side B. They are nothing different from the usual "alternative" Christian band, snappy tune, one boy with the short in the back, long in the front hair cut, the gratuitous tatoo or two. Here's what caught my eye, MAKEUP. Yep, I may be way out of the loop here, this is probably not new, but their front man was wearing eye makeup!!? What's goin' on with that? I can imagine what the conversation was like between him and the other band members when he showed up wearing makeup for the first time:

Makeup Boy: Y'all ready to practice?

Story Side B: Uh, yeah, what's on your face?

MB: Skin.

SSB: What else?

MB: Eye makeup.

SSB: Why?

MB: I thought the public would receive the Good News of Jesus better if I wore women's color cosmetics. What do y'all think?

SSB: We never thought about it like that. Great idea!

So, there you have it. Pretty soon that gritty sounding guy from Third Day will show up looking like the lead singer for Gene Loves Jezebel. That's when revival hits!

Oh, and by the way, it's Spring Sharathon time on Daystar. If you want to sow a seed of faith, get a certificate, a map, and a free bottle of extra virgin olive oil, send money now. Robert Morris from Gateway Church said he cancelled a trip so he could join Marcus and Joni for the Sharathon. I think he made the right choice. Crazy Mike Murdoch's been on there quite a bit. He shares Wisdom Keys These are clever sayings he makes up, loosely based on bible verses. He runs the Wisdom Center over in Watauga. You can go by there and do Wisdom Key classes, if you want. He's full of clever stuff.

A quick note regarding The Party: After much discussion, we decided that Joachin Phoenix could come, using his new persona. We are going to have The Rock here too in case Joachin gets out of hand. Also, Will Smith is coming. On the No side, the staff from the TV show TMZ, especially the manager with the straw and coffee cup, and the weirdy boy with the long, stringy hair. They cannot come and if they show up, The Rock will show 'em the door. Side note, we are not allowed to watch TMZ here, but if you're not careful, you can sometimes find yourself in it. All of a sudden, we're watching them all stand around their cubicles hashing out just who's truly worthy of TMZ publicity. It's ridiculous.

Good, exciting news! Tim is in Oregon this week. He's training at Welch Allyn headquarters, learning to sell something Welch Allyn makes! Yay for him & us & God.

The Homeless Philanthropist

2009-03-07T14:16:00.002-06:00

Tim & I have been going to the shelter on Thursdays for the last few weeks. We help serve lunch. It's interesting, but not nearly as mysterious and exciting as it sounds. It's like being around a bunch of beat-down people that have nowhere else to go and might start yelling at any moment.

Several months ago I met a homeless woman, Barbara, at a gathering hosted by other church people. The homeless people got to come eat hot dogs, make bracelets and draw pictures in a grassy, fenced-in area. It was called Art in the Park. Anyway, Barbara showed up at the shelter the other day. I was glad to see her since I'd had no luck finding her over the last few months. She looked the same, except I think she's lost a few more teeth. She has bi-polar disorder, but takes her meds, so she's lucid and friendly. The last two times I've seen her at the shelter, we visit and I ask all about her and how she is and tell her I wish I could do something to help her. She's had this man with her both times. This guy is playing it cool the whole time I'm talking to Barbara, like he's kind of protecting her. He suggested one week that the only thing I could do for her was pray for her. I agreed. We also had this conversation:

Me (to Barbara): My husband and I started coming down here (to the shelter) because he was laid off, it's a good way for us to spend some time.

the man: I tell you what, if he wants work and he don't mind movin', he ought to look into movin' ta Missouri. What's his line of work?

me: He's in sales.

man: Yeah, I tell ya, I'm from Missouri and you oughtta move there. It's nice and he could find a job there.

me: Really? huh.

man, as he pulls out a barbers comb and begins to stroke his moustache and beard at the table: Yeah, that's a great place.

me: What line of work are you in?

man: I volunteer my time.

No he doesn't. He volunteers his time on the curb on Lancaster because he is homeless and not a volunteer. He is The Homeless Philanthropist.

Phil Driscoll

2009-03-04T20:51:00.006-06:00

I pride myself in not knowing who famous people are. When Saturday Night Live comes on, I always ask who that person is hosting and Tim will say, "Oh, that's the guy from House. I can't stand that guy" or "I don't know either, maybe it's Lil Wayne."

Last night, though, I caught a glimpse of a guy on Promise Land TV. He was giving A Word of Knowledge to Mike Simon and I knew this guy looked familiar, but couldn't place him. When he finished talking and began to sing in that oh-so-familiar Bob Dylanish way, the flags went up. Who is this guy!? Phil Driscoll, that's who. If that's not a name you recognize, that's okay, Phil Driscoll is a world-reknown Christian minister and trumpeteer. He's in charge of Mighty Horn Ministries and man, he was kinda famous back in the day.

Evidently, he had a bit of a run-in with the law and has been incarcerated for some time. There's good news for Phil, though. He's still getting gigs, although they are on second-rate TV evangelist networks, and he has a new hair style, bleached. So, if you've been wondering where he's been...it's jail.

The Church of the Free Wheel

2009-03-04T10:55:00.007-06:00

Tim and I are kicking around the idea of starting our own church, "Church of the Free Wheel". We're pretty much gonna do what we want, as long as it honors God. Now I know that can be a slippery slope, but trust me, we can handle this. Here are some things we'll do:

1. square dance

2. share our stuff

3. leg wrestle

4. eat together

5. have parties

6. help each other

I think it'll be great. Let me know if you'd like to come.

My friends read the Stuff Christians Like blog (http://www.stuffchristianslike.blogspot.com/) . I just spent a ridiculously long time reading it. It's great. He talks about going first in small group, giving folks permission to be authentic. I love that and I'm really working on trying to be brave enough here to "go first".
Anywhoo...join me as I venture into deeper waters.

Disneyland 1978

2009-02-05T10:50:00.004-06:00

Some of you have seen this little jewel in my house over the years. I recently came across it again. Thought you'd like it. This is Tim with his brother Ted, their dad and sister Holly. You should know a couple of things about this picture:

1) that is Tim's real hair

2) that is Ted's real hair

3) no, their dad is not Wayne Newton

4) if Tim still had those shorts he'd wear 'em.

The Party

2009-01-31T17:38:00.004-06:00

You may or may not be familiar with an on-going coversation Tim and I have regarding a party we are planning. We're not real sure when we'll have it, probably after he gets a job. Anywho, when we have this super-great party, you will come, of course, but then, there's a completely new group of people that will also come. These people are not folks we ordinarily run around with, they may be famous or they think they are famous. So, here's who is invited so far:
Justin Timberlake, he's funny. Jack Black, Kristen Wiig. Kevin James from King of Queens. He'll be coming early, and will probably sleep over. Tim will want more time with him than most of the other guests.
Andy from The Office. Sarah Palin's body double and Alec Baldwin.
Vestal Goodman. She's the matriarch of The Happy Goodmans. I grew up listening to them. Classic southern gospel.
Lyle Lovett & my friend Shonda that I used to work with at AIDS Interfaith. I think she's a black feminist now. I don't think they'll come together, necessarily.
Steve McCauley from channel 8 weather. You should watch him. He's very dramatic.
H from CSI Miami, he looks at us sideways the whole time he's doin' his job. We like and appreciate that. He looks like all the cool people do on Facebook with their mysterious side-shot photos. I need to get one of those. Remember, DON'T SMILE!
Anyway, Doyle Davidson from Water of Life church in Plano. He's invited. He'll be checked at the door for weapons, but we'll still let him in if he's drunk. He probably will be drunk, so don't let that surprise you. He will proceed to inform me and my friends that we all have a Spirit of Jezebel. That'll be a hoot, we just have to make sure he doesn't get too mad, because then he starts cussing.
Bruce Jenner & Barry Manilow. They should come. They've had A LOT of plastic surgery and we would all enjoy hearing how it's working for them.
Tim's best friend from Stinnet, Fred. He'll come. He says "winder", instead of window. He married a girl that came from Idaho to teach school in Stinnett, she got fired for some reason...anyway, we'll have to figure out a way to get Fred here. I think he's afraid to leave Stinnett and he's afraid to fly. This could get tricky.
Smokey Binion Jr. He's the Elvis impersonator from Stinnett. You guys need to look him up on You Tube. Tim's sister gave him an autographed picture of Smokey for Christmas. This is what it says: "To my friend Tim Stay cool and Keep Rockin Your friend Smokey Binion Jr. Long Live Rock n Roll". In the bottom left hand corner he wrote "you tube".
Probably some more people from Stinnett. Maybe they can carpool and Fred can ride with them.
This list will increase. I've never actually put it all down on paper, so it works out good for me to start this. Know too, there are people that are NOT invited. I'll only tell you the famous ones, like Oprah, she can't come. She doesn't need to. She's an anti-christ and I'll need to visit with her another time outside a party setting about that.
Kanye West and that whole bunch. They are NOT invited. We don't need a bunch of foul-mouthed fools ruining the party.
Bono, great guy, probably too pretentious, I don't have a lot to offer in the way of political correctness. OKAY, DEREK, NEVERMIND, HE CAN COME!
Tim won't let the voice from the Whataburger commercial come. He hates that voice.
Anyway, I'll be updating this list as names come up. More to come....

A Little Update

2009-01-27T14:50:00.003-06:00

I feel weird when I blog. My stuff is so personal, but I've been wanting to do this for so long, I guess I'm obligated to keep it up. After all, I've got 11 followers! Good grief, I'll be selling ad space on this thing soon, I guess.
We press on here. Last week was hard. Tim started feeling a bit beat down and I scrambled around trying to do everything I could to encourage him. This week has started out much better. I continue to be amazed at how graciously God is providing for us. I won't ever recover from the generosity and love people are extending to us.
A friend emailed me a short list of folks she knows of that are laid off at our church. I feel sad for the wives/spouses of these people. There are some churches in our area that offer support for the worker. Wonder if there's anything around for the spouse? I'd really like to reach out to those people.

No school for me!

2009-01-20T20:18:00.002-06:00

Bleck! I've run amuck. This is the first semester in a while that I'm not taking classes. As is my tradition, I go to college. I never finish, mind you, I just go. I go and go and go and go. Anywhoo...it would not be fiscally sound for me to go to school while there's no source of major income here and I understand that, but it's making me feel awfully directionless. I like to have a good book to read at all times, or something interesting to study or SOMETHING! I've got a job that a pretty smart 12 year old could manage and the responsibility for the morale at this place. That's it. Takes a lot for me to keep that up and I feel like I do a better job when I've got something pushing the buttons in my brain. I read Scientific American magazine just to get all confused and up to speed on nothing I understand, but at least it's a challenge!
When it comes to school, I kind of picture God, every semester acting like the Soup Nazi. "NO SCHOOL FOR YOU!" or "You can have school!" When new semesters start, it's like I'm wanting to achieve something amazing like world peace, it's so dang hard to make it happen. Most of the time, I want to just give up. I have for now.
We press on here though. I trust and tell God how grateful I am several times a day. We are well cared for and I can't ask for more, except a job for Tim, but that's coming, I'm sure.
Yahoo for a new president. May God bless him. I got a kick out of watching the inauguration. It was great. All things patriotic are great to me. I cry. I don't care. If that is weird to you, DO NOT go with me to greet the troops at the airport. I cry so hard people think my husband's comin' home from Iraq. I can't stand it. When Tim was in the army, if you were on post at 6 pm, they played the Star Spangled Banner. No matter what's going on, driving or walking, you get out of your car and pledge the 'legience. I cried almost every day I did that. I love me some America.
Next item:
Prayers tonight. Nik said in his prayer, "God thank you for letting us get those boxes today to play with. Thank you for a fun day." I love that.
What a relief it's been, having this lay-off while the kids are in school. I am truly grateful for that.
And finally, my weight. You'd think that the threat of destitution or the reality of unemployment would scare me into some kind of eating moderation/starvation thing. No such luck. I'm packing it on like I'm pregnant. I'm not, it just looks like it.

Humility! Mine for the taking!

2009-01-13T10:45:00.001-06:00

Every day of my life God has offered me a chance to learn humility. Evidently I didn't take those opportunities seriously enough in the past, because the last few weeks have been very humbling.

"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command."

This is not romantic love that Jesus talks about here. It's not convenient, comfortable love. It's love that I've never bothered to wonder about until the last year or so. I've gone this far in life thinking if I just kept doing what looked right, I would love, that these actions would foster real love. That's not how it happened with me. I had to be intentional about loving, wanting to learn how to love more than I wanted comfort or convenience or respect or to be cool. My actions were empty for a long time. They were a bunch of noise to the ears of God, I'm sure. I have learned better how to really love, but that takes bravery and skills that only God can provide. Amazing skills, like humility.
Here we are today, showered in the true love that only God can provide. He's doing that through so many who love our family. There has been email love, phone love, money love, school money love, lunch love, breakfast love, grocery love and the list goes on. It is humbling indeed.
Tim starts the task of calling creditors today to let them know he's been laid off. We both thought this would be remedied by now (this unemployment), but it's not. Pray for him to be unshaken by this, that he will not walk away discouraged. He is a good man and I can't ask God enough to be kind to this wonderful man.

"If weakness is a wound that no one wants to speak of, then cool is just how far we have to fall." Sanctus Real from I'm Not Alright.

Just Sing!

2009-01-08T13:51:00.000-06:00

A couple of friends and I gathered yesterday to study the book of Esther. We never cracked the Good Book. We spent our hour discussing life and the dire circumstances that many people we love are in right now. While we were talking, Fooly called, her mother in law just had a stroke. I said something like "I hope we all survive these fire balls that God's throwing at us." I have been reminded lately of Jesus' words to Peter: "Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers." I love that so much I could cry. Jesus is praying for us. The Bible tells us that. I gotta remember that. I love Him for going to God on my behalf.
Just so you know, I'm not in dire circumstances. We will survive The Great Weirdness. Some people I know may not survive. These are troubled times. They have been, I suppose, since Eve took hold of that blasted fruit. But! I must address why we are here today...Just Sing! When I run, I listen to music and sometimes I need the dumbest, most light-hearted thing I can find. (Remember, I abandoned The Shack for lighter reading.) Right now, I'm into Family Force 5, these are not deep thinkers, these guys, but their music is clean and LIGHT. Track one on my CD is "Dance or Die". I chuckle at the thought of dancing being such serious business that one might actually DIE if they couldn't do it. There's another song called "Party Foul", I think. This guy is telling another guy that he better stop talkin' to his girl friend, because he's doin' a Party Foul, otherwise.
But the best dern thing I can conjure is the image of Snow White, from Disney's original movie, where she's talking to some animals and just keeps on being happy even though this just happened: a hunter took her into the woods and showed her the box her stepmother gave him to PUT SNOW WHITE'S HEART IN!!! You know the story, he doesn't kill her, but she tells these animals "When I'm sad, I just sing!" I remember watching that in the theater when I was in my 20's and just bustin' out laughing, because that is ridiculous and great all at the same time.
So, when I'm sad, I just listen to Family Force 5 or I sing!

In closing, my friend Bev reminded me:
"...take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one." Ephesians 6:16
So, it's not God that's shootin' fire balls after all! That's okay, when they quit flying (for a time and I've turned back), I'll be ready to strenghten my brothers and sing.

The First 25

2009-01-05T21:47:00.000-06:00

Yesterday we recognized 25 days without a main source of income! Woohoo! Man, that's gone by fast. Thanks to Christmas, school break, visits, anniversary, etc...we've been a bit occupied. I follow Susan Isaacs's blog "Gray Matter". She posted a funny video today about the sad situation so many of our country's executives have found themselves in recently. "For only $3600 a day you can help sponsor an executive so he can keep the lifestyle he's so used to living" (something like that). I told some friends today that I'm so relieved that we've never had a lavish lifestyle. Crazy stuff like ski trips, manicures, grocery shopping at Tom Thumb, new undergarments within this millenia. So, lucky us, Walmart still loves me. I'll trade there until I just can't stand it anymore. (Tim's dad used to "trade" at businesses. Our family "trades" too. We trade our wampum for food and services).

Scout got sick over the weekend, really sick. Tim left Saturday afternoon to be with his mom while she recovered from surgery. Scout started throwing up that night and we ended up in the ER on Sunday morning. She was treated for dehydration and had some symptoms of appendicitis, so they did a CATscan. When I saw that machine, all I could think was, "Good grief, how much is this gonna cost!??" Fortunately, she just had a monster stomach virus, but Tim came back Sunday night and helped ease the trauma of 4 needle sticks and no sleep in 24 hours. Scout's better now, mostly. My carpet will never be the same, though.

Something to consider

2009-01-02T18:22:00.001-06:00

A couple of nights ago we rang in the new year like most Americans by watching Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve. Have you guys seen that show? Have you thought that maybe the whole thing would be less, uh, confusing if the host line-up were different? I have to spend quite a bit of time every year explaining to my kids what's going on with Dick Clark. Does that happen to anyone else? Flimberly, what are your thoughts?

Another great reveal

2008-12-31T21:46:00.000-06:00

My friend Flimberly will be a frequent contributor to this blog. Her life is ACTION-PACKED! Her precious mother-in-law lives nearby and provides much of the action in Flimberly's life. Here's the latest:

This morning I had a phone call from Dottie which I thought you'd enjoy. Here is the transcript:

"Hello?"

"Hi Flimberly, is my grown son there?"

"Not right now, but is there something I can do for you?"

"Well, I need to ask him what he's done with my underwear."

"Oh, he wouldn't do anything with your underwear!"

"I mean when he moved me out here."

"I'm not sure what you mean ... you've lived in your house for 5 years now ..."

"I have? Well, I don't know where my panties are."

"Did you look in the bathroom? I know sometimes you wash them and hang them up in your shower to dry."

"That's where I am right now! I can't see any in here. I used to have a lot of them ..."

"Maybe you hung them outside?"

"No, they're not there."

"And you've checked your dresser drawers in your bedroom?"

"Yes, I don't see any in there. (laughs) I'm walking around the house in a bra on top and nothing down below! And it's not too comfortable, believe me."

(trying to permanently ignore aforementioned image and hoping I don't have to go over there and witness it) "Did you check the washer and dryer?"

"I think so, but I can check again ..."

"Well, have another look around and call me back to let me know if you find any, okay?"

"Okay, thanks honey."

A few minutes later, I was changing my good baby's diaper when the phone rang and Jack picked it up. There was a long silence, and then I heard him say, "Okay, 'bye." He came into my room and, with an indescribable look on his face, said, "Nanny says to tell you she found her panties ....?"Just another day in our household! :-)

The Beat Goes On

2008-12-31T20:56:00.000-06:00

Well, I'm pretty fired up. When I returned to my blog, I found that one of my new favorite authors has added herself as a follower of my rickety blog. Welcome, Susan! I'm passing your book around to my friends. I will not; however, loan it to them all. I'll tell them to actually BUY their own copy.
We continue to press on in these strange days, celebrating Christmas and processing the fact that Tim's no longer employed. When I finished reading Angry Conversations with God recently, I picked up The Shack. I got to page 14 or so, then two things happened. First, Tim lost his job (did y'all know that?), second I remembered that this book is about a HORRIBLE loss in the main character's life. I was in no place to deal with loss in the book and my own, so I've moved onto other books for the time being. One thing I did pick up from The Shack, the terrible event in this book is referred to as "The Great Sadness". I cannot help but think about our current state of affairs as "the great weirdness".
Weird may not seem like a good way to describe job loss, but that's all it is, weird. This is not devastating. My friend has recently learned that her dad may have untreatable cancer, that could be viewed as desperate. Weird is just a temporary condition, unless you're describing me. I've stayed weird my whole life. Anyway.
Oswald Chambers wrote and I read joyfully, "When you really see Jesus, I defy you to doubt Him. If you see Him when He says, "Let not your heart be troubled..." (John 14:27). I defy you to worry. It is virtually impossible to doubt when He is there. Every time you are in personal contact with Jesus, His words are real to you." Jesus has shown up wearing jeans and bearing paper towels, in a few anonymous letters with money and gift cards, countless emails and via Facebook as so many of you continue to encourage Tim via this new way of communicating.
So, know that I take this unemployment business seriously, but God's just been really evident here and I'm going to still look forward to the funny antics that go on around me; then I'll report these things straight away to you.
Thank you and Happy New Year!

Top 10

2008-12-21T15:34:00.000-06:00

I have another super-great friend, we'll call her Flimberly. She has a life that's worth documenting. We will, on several occasions, hear from her life on this page. Here's the contents of a recent email from her (the names have been changed to protect the innocent):

Top 10 Things You Don't Want to Hear from Your Sister When She's Visiting with Her Very Advanced 6-Month-Old:

#10. Can we change the TV to Yo Gabba Gabba? I don't like Yella to watch shows where the characters are worried or fearful about something.

#9. Yella loves to carry her Paci Pod around. She thinks it's a purse.

#8. I'm going to leave Yella's Pack-n-Play here. Maybe Your Son will need it if he sleeps at Grandma's house!

#7. Can Yella take this toy fish home with her? She loves it and I don't want to take it from her ... look how happy she is!

#6. Can Wally and Yella hang out here while I'm working out of St. Louis 20 days out of the month? That way, I could fly here and visit them when I have 4 hours off.

#5. I traded Your Son's size 2 bottle nipple for Yella's size 1 bottle nipple, because the size 1 nipple is starting to frustrate her.

#4. Oops ... Yella spit up on Your Son's stroller strap.

#3. I think maybe the reason Yella's so advanced is because I took my DHA/AHA supplement religiously while I was pregnant with her.

#2. I always lose weight when I'm here since there's no real meal schedule.

#1. Wally was just saying yesterday that Your Son looks like he's not done cooking.

BONUS: Yella was trying to get that lady with the camera to take a picture of her! She loves having her picture taken. She's saying, "Take a picture of me; don't I look pretty?!"

The "statistic" story

2008-12-17T19:01:00.000-06:00

Many of you found out about this blog because Tim got laid off on Monday. Bleck. What a rotten way/reason to tell folks to tune into your life. But, here we are. Welcome.
The original thought was, I would just write my head off and fill this thing up with clever fodder from my overwhelmingly blessed life. A Blessed Life, like a TBN superstar gal with a big pink wig and a bunch of crazy singers standing around me.
God had a better idea.
Here's the latest at our house; we are good, even though we joined the other 2 million Americans that lost their jobs this year. We've had two very busy days of returning phone calls and emails from the ones that love us, probably you. We cannot thank each of you enough for just sending an email and, more importantly, taking time to pray. God's got a better deal for us, at places like Splunk or Telerik . (These are REAL companies.)
I have no fear, none. I cannot thank God enough for giving me the peace that I have. I hope it doesn't come across as glib or irresponsible, but you've got to understand, that I believe in the core of my being that whatever happens next is completely up to God. We had zero control over the layoff, I have zero control over where God puts Tim next. I'm cool with that.
Tim's got a phone interview tomorrow and several calls to return to companies and recruiters. We are hopeful. I'll keep you posted...

Who my kids know...

2008-12-01T21:42:00.000-06:00

Hopefully, my kids know the real me. I do not want my true character, nature or personality to be a surprise to my kids. I never want them to look at me one day and think, "I have no idea who she is." That would be tragic.

Real Love

2008-12-01T21:15:00.000-06:00

Occasionally, a lot, I will write about my friends. Below is a true story that my friend, let's call her Fooly, just told me today. Before I start, you'll need to know a little bit about Fooly: She is a mom too, she is one of my best friends and she's got a huge capacity to love, just like Tim. She also tells high school kids about Jesus almost every day. She makes me look like a satanist, she's so passionate about sharing her faith. Anywhoo, when I asked Fooly how her weekend went, she said it was okay except she's slowly recovering from a bit of food poisoning. Evidently, Fooly got this bad bit of business from some deviled eggs she ate on Saturday night. Here's the CRAZIEST PART: she knew they were rotten. Fooly said, "One of my Young Life girls brought these deviled eggs over and set them right in front of me. I looked at those eggs and knew they were rotten, they'd just been out too long, but I looked into that girl's eyes and saw how badly she wanted me to love those eggs, so I ate them. Three of them. Two hours later, I was throwing up my head, but at least I didn't hurt that girl's feelings." How many of us could do that? She just went right into that pit knowin' what was in store for the next 24 hours, but she did it anyway. That's real love.

Packing

2008-11-25T13:39:00.000-06:00

You should know that I'm probably not going to be a deep blogger. It may occur once in a while, but this is really a chance for me to get myself down on virtual paper, and laugh.
Today my job is to pack for a 4 day trip. For most of you, this might be easy, but for me, packing is an all-day deal. I have ADD (not ADHD, that is more severe) so bad that it may take me 2+ hours just to pack my own bag. I still have mine to finish and 2 more to go, then the food and the other stuff. So far, here's what I've done, instead of pack:
check and read email
update my blog
print maps
eat
mess around in itunes
watch some TV, while standing, near my clothes.
So, that's it so far...wish me luck.

Everybody Needs a Hug

2008-11-23T21:03:00.000-06:00

Word has it that I work for a pretty powerful guy. He does top-secret work and I support him in that by making sure his AFLAC reimbursements are filed and his trips are booked, calendared and ticketed. I took him to the airport for the first time last week. I pulled up to the international terminal, got out to help him with his bags and turned to go. It was a bit of an awkward moment, because I just turned and hugged him and bid him a good trip without thinking. When I got into the car, it came to me that it was weird that I did that; this guy is pretty stand-offish, but dangit, he was getting on an AIRPLANE and GOING OVERSEAS, someone needed to hug him and I was the one there! The more I think about it, it really doesn't matter who I was dropping, I would have hugged 'em. You deserve it, if you are getting on a plane.