It's a Pride Thing...

I have a friend that we'll call Jen. Her name is really Jen, but she probably doesn't know she's my friend. She might say, "Oh, yes, I've met her twice", rather than actually professing our friendship. Anyway, she's a great communicator. She talks like me and gets mad about stuff and talks about it. She has kids, she loves Jesus, she easily proclaims faults in herself and does something about them.

Jen writes and speaks about removing the crap in her life so that she can see Jesus more clearly. I want to do that too. I live in a community with a lot of crap, and it's not crappy crap. It's fancy crap like cars and big houses and vacations. That kind of crap. So I find myself unable to find balance in all that because we don't have fancy crap. Ours is just regular.

I've been on this journey for several years. I want to make sure that the stuff that God has given us does not over-shadow God. That's the bottom line for me, so we live in this modest house, and live modestly and serve others and follow God, but something gross happened to me in all that. I have found myself clothed in this really terribly false humility. I began wearing my modest lifestyle like a badge of honor, like I'm suffering for the cause of Christ. I'm not. I have suffered to a degree. We've had some things taken away that I thought I needed to be happy. I survived that, I'm good. What is most concerning to me now is how I've gone to the extreme of letting go of material possessions and acted like it's suffering. Surrendering my crap, literally and figuratively should be an honor. It's what I'm called to do as a Believer, it's one way God changes me and makes me more like Christ. It's not suffering, it's called sanctification. If I am not holding on to this world, then I am more able to anticipate the next. So, here are some things I'm reading:

When Paul calls the power of Christ which changed him from great sinner to great apostle — when he calls this power "mercy," he exalts not himself but the Savior. The Christmas gift of change is always a gift, and never a wage. It can never be boasted in. It can be sought after the way a helpless, hungry man seeks food; and it can be accepted by faith. But it can never be earned. And so none of the changes God gives can be the basis of pride. The more like Christ you become, the more you exalt Christ and not yourself.

How and Why God Changes People

(www.DesiringGod.org)

Then, there's this jewel, the name is all you need: Are You Humble Enough to Be Care-Free?

So, that's my business. Your comments are welcome here.

Oh, and try this: www.jenhatmaker.com.

Great Ideas for 2011

The good news is, I'm still alive. There is no bad news. After Christmas Day, every year, I get ants in my pants to clean out the house, or maybe pack it up like we're moving. "Stage it" - if you will. I get overwhelmed with the amount of stuff sitting around. I love Santa as much as the next guy (not John Piper, he doesn't love Santa), but too many Santas makes me crazy. Anyway, we decided that after The Big Clean Out of 2010, we would totally begin 2011 focusing on God. What God wants, what God asks of us. That's it. Nothing tricky, just that. If you are a Believer, you know it's not that simple, but it's what all of us are called to, not just me and my house. So, here's to 2011, may the Harris Family seek God with our mind, heart, soul and strength and love our neighbors as we do ourselves.
Next, on a different note, here are some Good Ideas for 2011, for me:
1. I want to live like everyday's my last. When I die, I want people to be heart-broken. I want them to say, "Man, she loved the heck out of Jesus and she made me love Him too!".
2. I want to run like crazy. I want to run outside and feel good and smile while I run. I do that, I smile like a crazy person. I know the people in the cars that pass me must think I'm nuts. I love running.
3. I want to have the energy to love my neigbors like I love myself. I want to be able to encourage people in tangible, practical ways that make them have hope and love who God made them to be. That includes my kids. I want my kids to know beyond a shadow of doubt that I loved them deeply and that I wanted them to love, love Jesus more than anything in life (maybe that should be point #4. Anyway.)
4. I want to encourage my husband to be EXACTLY who God created him to be. I am so stinkin' disappointed that I have wasted 20 years not doing that. I think my job the last 20 years has been to be a thorn in side. I've been a thorn of various sizes, but never a salve (ooohhh, salve...) mostly a thorn. I stink.
Tell me your Good Ideas for 2011.

Well, Spring is upon us and I am so grateful for it, since we had a real Winter here this year (which is unusual). We recently took down the old rotting fence that our dog kept dismembering (the tiny dog could dismember the fence, that means it was in BAD shape) and replaced it with a cool little one that looks like it'd be on a farm. I really like it, I can see the beautiful land behind us. It makes the backyard look so much better.
As I drove to a meeting today, I saw two things that bothered me. Unfortunately, they are two different items, so they require two stories, but here's the observance:
1. I drive past a cemetary regularly, I often see caskets and funerals and the tent being made ready for the mourners. I remember the funerals of loved ones that I've attended and how it feels under that tent, with strangers and family that shared life with my loved one. Today, though, I saw the giant metal thing that the casket goes inside of. It was hanging by the small crane glistening in the sun and I thought about how much my Memaw paid for the giant thing that my PawPaw's casket went inside of and I thought, "I wonder why?" Why do we need the giant box for the box? Will there eventually be multiple boxes in graduated sizes, like Russian stacking dolls that will protect our loved ones for eternity? Or so we think. Is the giant box for the box really for us? Does it make us think that our person is really just there for safe keeping? You tell me...
2. On a MUCH lighter note...When I drive by the cemetary, I often see the fattish guy driving the recumbent bike. How many of you have seen him? He's the one recumbing, with a hugantic american flag flailing from the back of his bike. He's something else. I pass him occasionaly when I run and I've noticed that he's also picking up trash while he rides. The question here is: Are you REALLY getting a good workout on the recumbent bike, while you pick up trash? You tell me...

Good Housekeeping

I usually clean house and wash on Mondays. Today I tried doing that alongside my 7 year old. Just so you know, 7 year olds don't understand that you don't stand where you just mopped. Don't even try to explain it to 'em; it won't work.

Blog Failure

If you are a huge fan of The Love of God is Folly, you'll notice that I haven't blogged in a while. Seems like everything that came into my head would manage to hurt someone's feelings if it came out on the world wide web of blogs. That said, you can tell that I'm not perfect and I've never claimed to be. I try really hard to live by the righteousness extended to me by God thru Jesus. That's it. I'm gonna fail. I'm gonna talk about it.

So, I've experienced massive blog failure because I can't manage to figure out how to word stuff in a constructive way. That's it, yeah, constructive.

Here's what's gone on: School got out. My kids, husband & I are all home together. Surprisingly enough, it has gone well, except my youngest kid thinks it's still free for all with her dad. He kicks her out of the office when he must.
My oldest kid managed to make it through church camp. He had a good time.
I figured out that all the desires that I have in life may never be realized and that's really good. I see the proof in Romans 8:22-25, clearly and beautifully. These scriptures put my life into focus. Yay for me and God.
I have gotten to see my friends almost every week. That is so good.
My youngest is challenging me in many areas. Teaching her how to live in this world is difficult. The good news is that she is much like I was as a child and if I'll stop being so stinkin' frustrated with her, I can see how to speak to her and help her understand the good way to behave and why. "You don't want to be a pest, right?" "You need to not be funny now."
This man I am married to loves his job. It is the greatest, coolest gift that God's given us in a long time. Dangit!
We have no health insurance. Thank God Tim has VA coverage for his stuff. I know it'll all work out. I'm not worried much.
We enjoyed several days with my family. Good time, I didn't even cry once. That does not mean everything that goes on there is great, it just means that I managed myself fairly well on site.
I want very much to return to school. still. That probably won't happen in the fall. I'm okay with that.
I'm still pretty bad at my job. This is a prime example of what happens when folks like me try to do stuff they really aren't interested in. It's ridiculous, I get paid whether I work or not. Where did that job come from?
That's all for now. I hope to be more consistent in the future, but I'll make no promises. I'll just have hope (see Romans 8:22-25)

Little Thief!

This week my oldest kid had two friends over after school. One of the boys had never visited before. I've been leary of this kid for a while, just knowing what my own kid has said about him over the years. I know that this kid is the youngest of a fairly large family that is very busy and fairly well-off. These are not unusual traits in our community, but this kid has just appeared insecure and needy since he was young.
As the boys edited their video on my PC, I noticed the new kid messing around with stuff on my desk, so I walked into the back where they were and asked if they needed anything. They all said no. After the kids left, I noticed that my Nike+ chip was missing. I always kept it in the box and had moved it around on my desk earlier in the day. The new boy was the culprit. I immediately felt so weird, that something in my home had been taken right under my nose! The other kid didn't take it. He wasn't around my desk. I thought about a lady I know who had tons of stuff stolen from her house. The thieves broke in, in broad daylight. It was crazy. It took me a few minutes to know what to say to my oldest. I asked if he's seen the chip, he said no and I explained why I felt like the new kid took it. He offered to ask the kid the next day at school. I said no, don't ask and made him pinky promise not to ask or talk about it to anyone at school, ever. We promised and I started praying about how to respond in my heart about this. I was mad. I also knew that I'd see his parents in a few days at 5th grade graduation. After all, his mom had just been awarded the PTA Life-Time Achievement Award, I knew she'd be there. Here's where I landed, I explained to my oldest that this is a perfect example of why we need Jesus, that we all sin, all the time and Jesus forgives us when we ask. I need to extend the same kind of grace to this kid, because I sin. Of course, my kid wanted to know how I sin. Once we got through that discussion, he acknowledged that he understood. It was time to move on.
This morning during coffee, Tim told me that he had a hard time sitting behind the parents of the new kid, knowing what their kid had done. I told him I'd been thinking about it a lot over the last few days, and that I've prayed for that kid every day since and I thought this: God made this weird deal happen because He knew that I would pray for that new kid. It is possible that I am the only person on the face of the planet praying for that kid.
How many other times have I been wronged and not chosen the path of Grace? I am grateful that I was reminded of that gift in this situation.
What's your strategy when you are wronged? How do you make sense of it?

Let Us Observe

Today we remember The Great Mother's Day Fire of 1989. On that great day, the man I would marry 1 year and 7 months later, burned an entire block of apartments down. Roughly 12 people (or families) lost EVERYTHING THEY OWNED.
This fire was preventable, unfortunately. Tim was out at "the lake" with his buddies, maybe he was sober, maybe not, but what happened that evening, sobered him up fast. This night happened also to be the season finale to 21 Jump Street and, of course, he was distracted when he started frying fish. Before you know it, the grease is burning, he picks up the pan with his bare hands, runs toward the patio doors, catches the Apartment Curtains on fire and the rest is history.
Here's what was left:
What Tim was wearing, blue striped muscle shirt, Daisy Duke shorts.
2 Rattler Yearbooks
1 TKE flask
3 or 4 fraternity pics from college.
Legend has it that Tim didn't talk for about 5 0r 6 days after this great incident.
Tim and I had not met yet, but when we did, 10 months later, I was absolutely astounded to learn who he was.
Here are a few FAQs about Mother's Day 1989:
1. Did you try to warn the other tenants?
Yes, by running to each door and around the courtyard screaming like a girl.
2. Did you call 911?
Yes, but they didn't answer. Really.
3. Did you try to throw the burning pan out of the patio door?
Yes, but the doors were closed. That's how the Apartment Curtains caught fire.
4. Was your apartment well-furnished?
Yes, thanks for asking, it was beautifully stocked full of new furniture, TV, and stereo equipment freshly charged to the Sears card one week earlier.
5. What was the reaction of the utilities office when you called to have your electricity turned off?
Well, she put her hand over the phone and told her office "I'm talking to the guy that burned all those apartments down!"
Let us take a few minutes to remember this day and yes, I do have a fire extinguisher under the stove.